Ever notice how you put more value on something you worked hard for over something else that just fell on your lap? A common example of this is when you see someone spend lottery winnings on a fancy house, but thinking twice about investing life savings.

When something comes with a great deal of effort, that object increases its worth to that person who went through a great deal to get it. The same can be said about relationships. Someone who was won over with little effort can be let go just as easily. But when one is made to invest time and resources, it is harder to let them simply slip away.

Guys, believe it or not, it is okay, if not healthy, to let your lady work at your relationship and making things slightly more challenging for her to get you. After all, women have been playing “hard to get” for the longest time. It’s only right that they be returned the favor.

You may agree, but then you may not know exactly how. So read on for some helpful ideas on letting your mate work on increasing the value of your relationship.

- Retain some enigma.

Perhaps in their eagerness to impress the ladies, guys nowadays tend to share information about themselves short of a resume. That leaves very little for a woman to build her curiosity on.

Women are creatures of curiosity. They are wired to hunt for information on something that they are interested in. Just looking at how they consume gossip magazines will show you that.

Let this work to your advantage by revealing just enough information about yourself to get them interested while giving them hints on how to find out more. For example, let her know that you two have a common friend, but only give hints as to who it is. If she is in the least interested, chances are she’ll be asking everyone she knows if they know you. As a result, you’ll probably be constantly on her mind – which is a very, very good thing.

- Challenge her views.

If you don’t agree with some things your lady believes to be the only truth, let her know your opinions as otherwise. You will find that she will engage you with a lot more enthusiasm, if only to win you over to her side.

The advantage to this is that if you get “won over” by the arguments she made for her case, she’d feel a greater sense of attachment to you. Just be careful in doing so as your challenge can very easily be perceived as picking a fight, which may turn out badly for the both of you.

- Acquire a new skill together.

Whether it is a craft or a sport, encourage your girl to take up something she’s never had before with you. As she agrees, subtly push her to perform better than you are. If you are a very competitive type of guy, this may be quite difficult for you.

But if you keep your competitiveness in check, and allow her to excel over you with this new skill, you help build her confidence while at the same time making you the focus of her efforts.

- Let her imagination work.

When you and your lady have reached the point where you are physically intimate, you access another aspect of your relationship where you can allow you lady to work on.

When it comes to sex, even if she has already encouraged you to talk about it the first time, do what you can to avoid the topic – at least long enough for her to ask the second time. At this point, indulge her with some ideas you have in mind but leave out the details.

Allowing her imagination to fill in the blanks has already got you set up in her mind about the possibilities of an incredible night with you. Remember, a woman’s most erogenous zone is her brain. Work this part of her and it’ll take all of her self-control not to jump you the next time you meet.

These ideas all work to get your woman to invest more time and effort on you, reinforcing the connection you two have made. But be sure to affirm these efforts and let her know that you notice the work she is putting in. Nothing makes her feel better than to know her man thinks she is not only a great partner, but someone who can stand well enough on her own.

So, you thought you have finally found the ONE.

Someone who has an established career, with stable financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has finally come into your life.

But, just when you thought you’ve finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, everything seems to be wrong and complicated. Suddenly, he has lost his job, she went bankrupt, he became careless, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your partner in dealing with the issues but it always turns out that he or she’s too good to ask help from anybody-even you.

Still, despite everything you still do almost everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they’re in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that’s the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.

Being stuck and stranded

It is always hard to end any kind of relationship-especially if it’s a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is precious, you should know when to end a relationship especially if you are well-aware that its not doing you any good.

The signs of the times would probably tell you if you are already being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts agree that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through unusual periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in some relationships. You will also know if you are already in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves incessant aggravation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.

The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and comprehension, he or she doesn’t want to make any commitment, doesn’t profess his or her feelings even if there is a sort of commitment or plainly incapable of loving someone else besides him or herself.

Studies also show that in any bad relationship, the couple is often on dissimilar wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment.

Since bad relationships usually stem from chronic reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even damage the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also destructive for persons especially those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.

Aside from emotional distress, staying in a bad relationship can be hazardous to someone’s health. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and various chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.

Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person’s overall health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body’s resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression.

If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent suicide attempts.

Breaking free

What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.

If you are already in a bad relationship that robs you off your freedom to be yourself, the freedom to love other person, and the freedom to get out of an unhealthy and destructive relationship, here are some of the things you can do to recover.

1. Consider your wellness as the first priority in life whether you are in or out of a romantic relationship.

2. Try to be “selfish” at times by focusing on your own needs above all else.

3. Be strong enough to deal with your own problems.

4. Have a positive outlook in life and cultivate whatever positive values you acquired within the relationship.

5. Nurture you spiritual side and try to look for ways or activities that can bring you inner peace.

6. If the relationship was quite traumatic, think of getting professional help or find a support group where you can chare your experiences and the lessons you have learned.

7. Don’t be afraid to fall in love but try to be more cautious next time so you won’t be stuck in a bad relationship.